When you cry, who can help?
As a pastor, I have been asked this extensively. When there is loss, pain, and suffering, it is difficult to know where to turn. Crying overpowers any other perspectives. And, crying is a response to the world out of control, heading no direction. Therefore, why turn to a pastor and a community for any help?
I believe that a pastor and the community needs to be prepared to answer exactly this kind of question. The most helpful response is one that is collectively offered. Crying and hopelessness will happen – that is a given, especially when we live any kind of life which is interactive with the world around us. Crying and hopelessness will happen. As Christians, we need to be prepared.
There are many possible responses, but let me suggest that the pastor and the community should consider the following Christian response. I will respond as a pastor and you, as community, can find your own special place in being a follower of Christ:
What do I do and how do I begin?
Crying with someone who is lost can be a very good start, so long as you are identifying with their pain and not joining them in a feeling that all is lost and all hope is gone. Internally a Pastor (and/or the community) must be prepared to go to where there is no hope and yet remain connected to the source of hope. I do not want to sound trite, but this is why it is very important for a pastor (and/or the community) to maintain good spiritual discipline. In preparing to speak to a community in the midst of tragedy a pastor must ground (anchor) himself/herself in prayer, scripture, and the collective memory of struggle from past communities within their experience. (Example: What did St. Louis do during the flood of 93, the winter storm of 82, or more recently the summer power outages)?
People appreciate honesty "Sunshine lies" are not going to be convincing. You must be able to, in your heart of hearts, believe the hope you are professing and attesting; i.e., If someone is in a pit of quick sand and they are calling out for help, as a pastor (and/or a community) I have several choices. We need to think these through, one by one:
1. I can ignore their cries for help and let them figure it out for themselves.
2. I can hear their cry and run for help hoping to get back in time before they sink completely.
3. I can hear their cry and sit down and cry with them as they sink.
4. I could jump into where they are and hope that I can pull them out before I begin to sink with them.
5. I could hear their cry, listen to their situation, assess my resources, find a rope of hope and throw it to them hoping that the rope itself will pull them out or that they can pull themselves out.
6. I could hear their cry, listen to their situation, cry with them, assess my resources, find a rope of hope, tie it off to myself and throw it to them and hope that by connecting them to my rope of hope which is tied off to me, we can pull together and in the struggle together pull them from the pit of sinking sand. Again, hoping that they do not pull me in with them.
7. I could hear their cry, listen to their situation, cry with them, assess my resources, find a rope of hope tie it off to something more substantial than myself and throw it to them and hope that by connecting them to my rope of hope, tied off to something more substantial, we can pull together and in the struggle together pull them from the pit of sinking sand, knowing that I have anchored the rope of hope in something other than me.
8. I could hear their cry, listen to their situation, cry with them, assess my resources, find a rope of hope tie it off to something more substantial than myself and throw it to them. When I throw the rope to them I can dialogue with them, and in the dialogue help to remind them of where they are anchored and help them come to the conclusion that they may have a rope of hope of their own that is anchored to something more substantial than themselves, and then pulling together on both of our ropes of hope, and in the struggle and dialoguing together, pull them from the pit of sinking sand. Knowing that I have anchored the rope of hope in something other than me and I have helped them identify their own rope of hope that was already there.
Things I would do for an entire community would be similar; i.e., helping by asking the community to share their memory of how they have handled past struggle in their particular community, reconnect to the collective connection to our common hope in God, profess the collective recognition that we are not the only ones going through the current struggle, and helping them by proactively getting the community involved in solving the community tragedy through setting up and organizing volunteer and ministry opportunities that bring relief through involvement.
Crying and hopelessness will happen – that is a given especially when we live any kind of life which is interactive with the world around us. Crying and hopelessness will for sure happen. As Christians, we need to be prepared – individually and collectively. We can do this the best together.
